Panic was starting to take over. It had been building all day. The despair had set in. I’d been praying fervently and there was no sign that my prayer would be answered. Why? Why?
I had deftly deflected the panic by staying busy most of the morning. Preoccupation seemed like just the remedy, but then a lull in my day gave panic the opportunity to grab me all over again. My desire to DO SOMETHING became palpable.
The knot in my stomach was getting worse. “I have to fix this”, my brained raced. “But I can’t fix this.” I intellectually knew that I had no control – I’d known that for a while – but the reality of having no control was taking over. Why God? Why?
As I got into my car I instinctively set my phone to a sermon podcast. “I need advice, I need input” I thought – still wanting to do something.
And then I realized I needed to be still. Worship music – that’s what I needed. To rest in who God is. And so I played this song on my phone – over and over and over. It brought me peace. Did the trial before me change instantly? No – it was still a great unknown in front of me. But I was reminded that despite my circumstances, I could trust Jesus.
If you haven’t heard this song by Lauren Daigle (or even if you have), I hope this will bless you like it blessed me.
When you don’t move the mountains I’m needing you to move
When you don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through
When you don’t give the answers as I cry out to you
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You
Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid, I put my trust in you